I waited a while to post my last poem for NaPoWriMo, I got stuck for a while and just wanted my next poem to be something with meaning for me. So after more than a month here it is.
I’ve been waiting; who knows how long. It’s been years it’s been centuries. Of fears and lost memories. Of the inability to just be me, to be free. And I’ve been searching for ways to say what I feel, trying to make sure that what I was living was real. That my mind hadn’t tried to create a better world to escape from my torture but failed in the attempt and made it all rupture. I hate to be one to complain, and see the world so dark is a shame; especially when there’s so much death, hunger and strife. And though complaining may seem wrong sometimes it just seems right. I’ve been told my whole life that the answer is no, that I can’t be who I choose, that I can’t do the things I do. That I can’t go the places I go and still follow the norm. That I can’t dribble a ball and be expected to be treated like a girl who wears heels. That I expect too much, that my dreams are far-fetched. Small minded individuals that never let me be; that don’t like to see others free. And many times I’m alone and confused and it’s something I refuse. Not to be alone, that’s something that I choose. But to be confused about the path I take, to just sit and wait for the answers from fate. I’m impatient, but I get the importance of time but I like to see the results of the small climb, the little steps that take you there; closer to the answer of your perfect where. A lot of people understand so little of me, a lot of people try to hold me back because my personality is too strong and my ideas are set in stone and for this, I walk alone. Yet not alone enough that I feel free; because many are still chasing me. But I’m so close, so close to the freedom that I seek, a freedom where I can just be unique.
Copyright © 2016 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved