Soul Demolisher

The only thing that is wrong with the one that I was trying to get to know.

Was his constant ability to irk me,

Or maybe how I felt he always wanted to fuck me.

Not in the way one would like, in a way that would detroy my life.

The only thing that is wrong with the one that I was trying to get to know.

Was the pain he caused with his silence, feigning it was plain old ignorance.

Or maybe how I felt when he wasnt by me, how everything but me was carefree.

The only thing that is wrong with the one that I was trying to get to know.

Was that he expected me,to be more for him than for me.

Or maybe that I could no longer be as free.

The only thing that is wrong with the one that I was trying to get to know.

Is that my love was not enough for him, no matter what I did I could never win.

Or maybe it was the emptyness I felt every

time he left, my heart felt no greater death.

The only thing that is wrong with the one that I was trying to get to know.

Is that Im still waiting for him to show,

Or maybe that I know it’s all a false hope.

The only thing that is wrong with the one that I was trying to get to know.

Was the longer I waited the more lost I felt, or maybe it was how I questioned the cards that I was dealt.

The only thing that is wrong with the one that I was trying to get to know.

Is that he is no longer next to me, so maybe…there is no point of being free.

-M.A.Fernández

Copyright© 2021 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved.

The Prisoner

There’s yesterdays, and there’s todays.

Easy forevers and please just stay.

Hearts wanting to be complete,

Running away from the defeats.

Happiness wrapped around metal shards,

cupids shooting poisened darts.

There’s today; there’s always today.

While yesterdays pass by,

Somany questions remain that start with why?

There’s yesterdays and todays;

the yesterdays fade away,

but the todays always stay.

– M.A. Fernández

Copyright© 2021 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved.

The Recap

Part II

We all know what happens when you put someone on a pedestal,

Even the purest angel can become a devil.

And through it all so many things to bear.

Hurricane, earthquakes and to top it off a pandemic.

But really few get what the island went through,

Much less what these people had to do.

Corrupt governments also never help in the peoples fight,

What could be done? Except accept they may be right.

But the people weren’t silent and today are still showing all their might.

Yet the land isn’t everything that caused immense pain,

Nothing was more difficult than finding a permanent friend.

Through illnesses and broken bones,

No where really, felt like home.

And even accompanied resonated the feeling alone.

If life isn’t cruel enough,

The shiniest pearl became so rough.

Haunted by failures and misfortune,

The closing of doors that had long once open.

But the closing led to the crumbling of walls,

No cage standing to harbor the soul.

No sheriff or marshals to dictate anymore.

So a refocus of thought was all that was left,

Because the second time around,there will be no failing the test.

-M.A. Fernández

Copyright© 2021 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved.

🔥🔥We are back.!! 🔥🔥

To all my lovelies. We are back and stronger than ever, life hit us hard (my content will show you what I mean), but we are here and we will not quit.

The Recap

Part I

I started this journey thinking it would be fun,

Thinking I’d finally be able to finish the run.

But man, did life have other plans,

And let me tell you, Im not a fucking fan.

You might say, yeah ok, here we go,

But these last few years really did blow.

Hear me out,don’t discard me just yet,

I haven’t even started to put up the set.

So the show all started about four years ago,

When I knew once again, I had to let go.

Another fool who tried to play my heart,

But nah, I wasn’t willing to play that part.

And yeah it hurt,we always think we found the one, dont we.

Mmmmm! but that man, was not for me.

So broken hearted and stubborn,

I went back to the past,

But with the excuse I wanted to grow fast.

Enrolled in school to gain some higher power,

Maybe the past would see I could still be a flower.

A flower with thorns but a flower none the less,

Even if I didn’t pass test.

But what do you expect a 19 year old to do, when experience comes knocking at the door.

Theres no choice but to get on the floor

Begging on all fours.

And sure, yeah that’s not a pretty image,

But trust living it wasn’t no picnic.

I know you must say, “ yeah sure just another gimmick,”,

But you weren’t there to witness.

Nobody was, that’s the problem,

The stones were cast and all forgotten,

Yet there was my corpse starting to rotten.

Fast forward, somehow I picked myself up,

But in the back of my head I knew I’d fucked up.

So I did the right thing, rectified myself,

But in the end I could still feel all the stares.

And most of all, the deception in the air.

So I did the right thing, focused on my studies,

Until one day came along that sweet little buddy.

Distractions, distractions, that’s all that I got

Once again, almost lost my damn shot.

Refocused, re-evaluated when along came an angel,

My own personal Gabriel the Savior.

I cried and I shouted a big amen,

I had finally gotten my perfect ten.

-M.A. Fernández

Copyright© 2021 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved.

Broken Souls

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You were my forever fire that seems to be burning down. We were ignited by a passion and desire that appear to no longer exist. Two souls that loved so fiercely give the impression of no longer being able to co-exist. Two hearts that once so passionately kissed, now only see a near miss. Turning a beautiful story into a sorrowful twist. You were a small guiding light in a dark and stormy world, but just as us, this concept is no more. We were like a falling star, beautiful, but rushing to its death, with no more hope to bet. We were love incarnated and happiness in a perfect picture. But weak became the pillars of our faultless structure. Our love became sicker, our interactions toxic and somehow we both seemed to lose our compassion and logic. We were brought together by the cosmic and ripped apart by our actions. We were and are a sad love story to be told. We are but the remains of to broken souls.

-M.A. Fernández

Copyright © 2018 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved

The Perfect One

10531475307325798113Image via:http://indeksonline.net/zhduket-nje-person-me-te-meta-psikike-nga-drenasi-e-kerkon-familja/

Lately, I’ve started losing sleep, pondering on everything that is and what could be.

I try to push away the thoughts that invade my brain and yet it always seems in vain.

While my tired soul and body beg for sleep, I lie awake thinking about things that all I wish is to set free.

I am cornered by the notion of never having another conversation with you or following my heart on what do.

Trying to overcome my mistakes;  has become more a game of survival, and less about doing whats right.

Although you were the one who had to overcome betrayal.

I’m the one who can’t sleep at night. I’m the one who never feels right and has no more will to fight.

And while I try to put myself in your shoes, there are things that being you; I still would never do.

They say that hate is the worse emotion someone can feel towards you,

but that’s cause no one has felt the ice cold actions of your indifference.

It’s so clear to see all the changes in your soul and how you are so different.

Even though I fear losing you or worse losing myself, I fear more that I will no longer see you with good eyes.

That there will be no good left to love, that I will hate you so much that I will forget about all the true love.

I’m scared that I will never want to hear your name and bestow you with all the blame.

I have loved you so deeply and for such an immense lapse of time.

That I rather walk away and stay with the memory of the good man that once mine.

-M.A. Fernández

Copyright © 2018 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved

The Colors of Pain

Knife-Abstract-Face-Painting-by-Francoise-Nielly-Designer-Handmade-Modern-Wall-Art-Oil-Painting-Decoration-OnImage via:https://www.aliexpress.com/item/Knife-Abstract-Face-Painting-by-Francoise-Nielly-Designer-Modern-Wall-Art-Oil-Painting-Decoration-On-Canvas/32791397033.html

Some say pain is blue, but pain can be other colors as well.

Pain is orange and pink like the sunsets we used to watch together.

Pain is aqua like the car you would always arrive in to see me.

Pain is pale cream like the sand we walked upon on our first date.

Pain is light blue and purple like the sky the day you asked me to be yours.

Pain is deep red as the roses you would gift me every month until our very first year.

Pain is yellow with brown spots like the first stuffed animal you ever gave me.

Pain is white and pink like my surprise birthday cake on my nineteenth birthday.

Pain is white like the sheets we use to lay under together.

Pain is red and white like the coolers I used for all of our picnics.

Pain is green like the grass we laid on so many times.

Pain is purple and blue like the luggage we used to travel together.

Pain is black and white, like our first kitten.

Pain is black and silver like the jewelry box you personalized just for me.

Pain is colorful like the fish tank you gave me on our second anniversary.

But most of all; pain is black, a black so deep no other color can ever standout.

Pain is black like the day we parted ways,

pain is black like the moment I realized you would no longer stay.

Pain is black like the moment I lost my best friend.

Pain is black like every day we fought to try and get back together.

Pain is black like coming to grasp with the fact I was fighting in vain. 

Pain is black like crying every day.

Pain is black like feeling alone, like having no purpose.

Pain is black like flying thousands of miles only to hear you no longer loved me.

Pain is black like I still love you.

Pain is black like I will always love you and will have to live with the notion that I forever lost you.

Pain is the color attached to every broken memory.

-M.A. Fernández

Copyright © 2018 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved

Third video on my youtube channel. Here is a link if you’d like to subscribe.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRfYD1fhJ6ipm96euZ_9Suw?view_as=subscriber

The second video on my youtube channel. Here is a link if you’d like to subscribe

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRfYD1fhJ6ipm96euZ_9Suw?view_as=subscriber

 

Hey guys! I decided to make one small change to my author profile this year by changing my author name to M.A.Fernández. I also decided to take a big step, at least for me, in my writing “career”. It can be considered my first try and I was so nervous, but I hope you guys still enjoy it.