There

I waited a while to post my last poem for NaPoWriMo, I got stuck for a while and just wanted my next poem to be something with meaning for me. So after more than a month here it is.

Day 30

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I’ve been waiting; who knows how long. It’s been years it’s been centuries. Of fears and lost memories. Of the inability to just be me,to be free. And I’ve been searching for ways to say what I feel, trying to make sure that what I was living was real. That my mind hadn’t tried to create a better world to escape from my torture but failed in the attempt and made it all rupture. I hate to be one to complain, and see the world so dark is a shame; especially when there’s so much death, hunger and strife. And though complaining may seem wrong sometimes it just seems right. I’ve been told my whole life that the answer is no, that I can’t be who I choose, that I can’t do the things I do. That I can’t go the places I go and still follow the norm. That I can’t dribble a ball and be expected to be treated like a girl who wears heels. That I expect too much, that my dreams are far fetched. Small minded individuals that never let me be; that don’t like to see others free. And many times I’m alone and confused and it’s something I refuse. Not to be alone, that’s something that I choose. But to be  confused about the path I take, to just sit and wait for the answers from fate. I’m impatient, but I get the importance of time but I like to see the results of the small climb, the little steps that take you there; closer to the answer of your perfect where. A lot of people understand so little of me, a lot of people try to hold me back, because my personality is too strong and my ideas are set in stone and for this I walk alone. Yet not alone enough that I feel free; because many are still chasing me. But I’m so close, so close to the freedom that I seek, a freedom where I can just be unique.

-M.Fernández

Copyright © 2016 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved

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Personal Narcotics

Day 29

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I’m on the brink of salvation, dying of starvation. And you what sustains me, so far but so close. One minute you’re gone, the other you’re here. Dying to come forward but held back by fear. Letting the voices your decisions stear, always watching the rear. And I keep dying while you keep making your mind. Leaving no peace to find. The drug I never need but always choose and I’m so scared to loose. Addicted to a substance  so real, I’m waiting for its magic to commence and my soul to heal.This deal has to seal, but then again you can always melt steel. Under fire we transform, either to a better or a worse form.We are the ones you choose to reform or deform.

-M.Fernández

Copyright © 2016 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved

Lackluster

Day 28

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The ache of a undesired solitude eats away at the realization that nothing is what is hoped. Attempts are made to change a reality that was forged in pain and misery, feelings that have left a constant dark memory. A heart created in the hands of a masochist , who can’t be more passionate and now nothing happens by accident. Living a predetermined existence, forgetting what is relevant, destruction is eminent when you have a soul of a skeleton.

-M.Fernández

Copyright © 2016 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved

Hopeless

Day 27

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My inability to hate you;

just makes me wants hate you a little bit more.

To have the ability snap my fingers,

and poof, get the courage to kick you out the door.

To never see that stupid grin,

or to base my emotions on your whims.

But here I am time and time again,

fighting to be your friend.

-M.Fernández
Copyright © 2016 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved

Hold On for Life

Day 26

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He sees me I see him, we base it all in a whim.

Lines are crossed and our borders become thin.

Everything comes with the rush of the wind.

-M.Fernández
Copyright © 2016 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved

For the Moment

Day 25

10 Places you’d like to visit

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I walk through Paris and transport myself to Spain,

then go to Cologne, Germany regardless of the rain.

I swim in the clear waters of Bora Bora

and walk the streets of India.

I fly to Italy, Scotland and Fiji,

feeling a bit beachy;

I jump to California.

Then I miss the Flora I imagine in my mind

and next I’m in Dominica.

I do this all in one day

but the night starts to fade

and I’m awake.

-M.Fernández

Copyright © 2016 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved

We are! Are we?

Day 24

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Are we? The question asked time and time again. Never is there an answer for the inquiry of an expectant heart that lingers to the vision of tomorrow and the puzzles of today. Ticking clocks and moving hands leaving anxious mind and restless steps, that are waiting for what’s next. To answer a question that could be so simple; but has turned so difficult. It’s almost criminal; to be so critical.

-M.Fernández

Copyright © 2016 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved