Lately, I’ve started losing sleep, pondering on everything that is and what could be.
I try to push away the thoughts that invade my brain and yet it always seems in vain.
While my tired soul and body beg for sleep, I lie awake thinking about things that all I wish is to set free.
I am cornered by the notion of never having another conversation with you or following my heart on what do.
Trying to overcome my mistakes; has become more a game of survival, and less about doing whats right.
Although you were the one who had to overcome betrayal.
I’m the one who can’t sleep at night. I’m the one who never feels right and has no more will to fight.
And while I try to put myself in your shoes, there are things that being you; I still would never do.
They say that hate is the worse emotion someone can feel towards you,
but that’s cause no one has felt the ice cold actions of your indifference.
It’s so clear to see all the changes in your soul and how you are so different.
Even though I fear losing you or worse losing myself, I fear more that I will no longer see you with good eyes.
That there will be no good left to love, that I will hate you so much that I will forget about all the true love.
I’m scared that I will never want to hear your name and bestow you with all the blame.
I have loved you so deeply and for such an immense lapse of time.
That I rather walk away and stay with the memory of the good man that once mine.
Copyright © 2018 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved