Personal Narcotics

Day 29

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I’m on the brink of salvation, dying of starvation. And you what sustains me, so far but so close. One minute you’re gone, the other you’re here. Dying to come forward but held back by fear. Letting the voices your decisions steer, always watching the rear. And I keep dying while you keep making your mind. Leaving no peace to find. The drug I never need but always choose and I’m so scared to lose. Addicted to a substance so real, I’m waiting for its magic to commence and my soul to heal. This deal has to seal, but then again you can always melt steel. Under fire, we transform, either to a better or a worse form. We are the ones you choose to reform or deform.

-M.A. Fernández

Copyright © 2016 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved

Contrition

Day 21

 

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What it means to love someone and have them slip through your fingers. To wonder where you went wrong and if there was any remedy. Regretting every bad decision, that led to the present situation. Unspoken words, unreasonable fights. Empty days, followed by empty nights. Misgiven chances, no strong support. Fast paced actions with no clear follow through. Unclear divulgation of emotions, sharing; unsharable torments. Thinking too much and forgetting to live the moment. Giving all and receiving so little in return. Conforming with bits and pieces, scraps left at an empty table. And you wonder where you went wrong; if it was all your fault, or if maybe it was just doomed from the start.

-M.A. Fernández

Copyright © 2016 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved

Life’s Bridle

Day 19

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It’s become such a cliche, writing about love and pain. But an overwhelmed heart leads to a mind with no ideas. A mind with the same thoughts pounding day after day.Thoughts that take away serenity. The enemy has becomes so unclear, the heart is guided by fear. A heavy chest, so alone and it makes no sense how we all feel the same, but nothing ever changes. We talk about heartbreaks, betrayal, regret, again and again, we fall into the same situations caused by us or by others. We live in a cycle that nobody wants, but nobody tries to set apart. So we stay in our misery, waiting for some divine intervention that never seems to come. And are scars get bigger, while we keep pulling triggers.

-M.A. Fernández

Copyright © 2016 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved

D.E.N.I.A.L

Day 18

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Denial; no matter how much I write, how much I express, I can’t seem to let go of the questions and regrets. The ones that haunt me and night and take away my desire to fight. Those that take my smile away and makes my creativeness fade. Questions and regrets that remove the ability to be a functional being. The ones that cloud my mind and make me blind.Denial; Death Equals Not Identifying A Loss.

-M.A. Fernández

Copyright © 2016 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved

Unseen,Unheard

Day 17

In the mystery of time and lack of knowledge, lies the desire of the heart and mind. To fill blanks left without a scribble, trying to solve the most simple riddles. But time gives no clues and knowledge is never enough to the discern the secrets that lie deep within the heart. Past the scars and blockages, the rush of blood and broken arteries. What is knowledge in the face of uncertainty? For the unmarked stays unmarked, unless the willing set the truth apart. But there are always words untold and secrets to hold. Paradox’s that lock the mind, and hide the soul. No blueprints, no solutions to burned trails hidden on empty maps. The unknown isn’t always shown, things remain hidden under the sun, criminals remain on the run. Children stop having fun. Variables change, but people remain the same.

-M.A. Fernández

Copyright © 2016 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved

We the Slaves

Day 16

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Do you own things? or Do they own you?

Do you have an addiction you just can’t break?

Do you stay up till you notice it’s too late?

What’s the first thing you do when you awake?

Can you let go of everything?

Do you own things? or Do things own you?

-M.A. Fernández

Copyright © 2016 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved

Who Let The Monster Out?

Day 15

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At the end of the day, when the night beckons;

the monster comes out to play,

the present lets in the pain.

Thoughts get louder and reason gets softer,

nothing makes sense and all is insane.

All shades turn the same and strength seems to fade.

At the end of the day, there are no barricades.

-M.A. Fernández

Copyright © 2016 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved

10 Rules I Shouldn’t have Broken

Day 14

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  1. I gave my all and accepted nothing in return, then decided it was his turn.
  2. I trusted without a reason and kept it going through the seasons.
  3. I gave myself willingly, just to live the moment, disregarding the future torment.
  4. I disrespected my commitments, acting as if there weren’t clear restrictions.
  5. I said I would never again deceive, but there I was letting false words free.
  6. I hurt the person I most loved, making him lose all his trust.
  7. I looked deep into his eyes and fell in love without knowing his story, expecting he would want to treat me like a trophy.
  8. I got better and jumped back in, even though I knew I wouldn’t win.
  9.  I gave chances time and time again when they didn’t deserve them.
  10. I put others principles above my own when their motives were truly unknown.

-M.A. Fernández

Copyright © 2016 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved

Pass Away

Day 8

 

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I gave you love, I gave you friendship; I gave you honesty, I gave you my heart. You gave me lies, and empty conversations, that till this day have no meaning. Words with no foundation. Actions based on deception. You rid me of pages I will never get back, and you ask; how can I be mad? How can I be mad that you wasted my time? How can I be mad you said everything would be fine? How can I be mad that you led me on? How can I be mad when your words said let go but your actions told me to hold? You played with fire and I got burnt. Then you wonder why you have no more turns. You were another devil in disguise and I fell for are your lies, trying to look for truth in trained eyes. You told me what I wanted I wanted to hear and believed you because of my fear that I could never love again, not the way I did when I opened my heart. When I ripped my chest apart, so you could throw your darts. Poison on the tips, Cupid didn’t show you this trick. So you wonder why I’m guarded, why I no longer let you in? When all I did was lose and all you did was win.

-M.A. Fernández

Copyright © 2016 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved

Fated Love

Day 7

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Can I say I’m alone?

It sure feels like I don’t have a home.

It’s easy for my mind to roam

And sometimes feel alone.

But I look at my wrist and there’s that twist.

The sign of a promise that’s meant to be kept.

One simple word that explains my heart’s desire.

One simple word branded to my heart with fire.

And deep inside, far away, his wrist holds the same.

Another word, with the same promise.

A love that cannot be forgotten.

And in his hands, he holds the key to my heart.

This is what sets him apart.

What sets him apart from all the rest,

that he’s always been the best.

Yes, there have been many tests

But we have also been blessed.

I may not carry a label that defines what I

am, but I’ll proudly hold his hand.

Some things, circumstances just can’t break.

Especially when talking about fate.

It’s all in patience and time,

which can be more than difficult,

but in the end, it always has the best results.

-M.A. Fernández

Copyright © 2016 Marlin Alicea Fernández, Soul to Ink. All Rights Reserved